The Shouty Woman

March 23, 2006

How dare you gain weight without my permission?

Filed under: Feminism — by Lucy @ 1:49 pm

Via Twisty, a couple of stories that depressed me so much I could cry, except I’m at work and it might confuse my colleague.

Call me touchingly naive, but I have this idea that when you marry someone it should be because you love them. Not their hair, or their breasts, or the fact that they’re a size 8. Because all that stuff changes, however much makeup, or dye, or surgery you throw at it. Sadly the husbands of the women in the posts above don’t seem to have grasped this concept. Their wives are their property, dammit – how dare they presume to put on weight or cut their hair without consent? After all, when you sign that register at the church, you’re really signing an agreement to remain forever a size 8, pert-breasted 23-year-old. Did you not realise?

I hate this for so many reasons. Firstly because it demonstrates how women are, for many men, merely objects or trophies to be showed off. So much for the idea of marriage as an equal partnership. Secondly because stories like this will encourage women to hate themselves even more, and to subject their bodies and faces to violent, aggressive surgery in an attempt to buy a few more years’ worth of attention from their men.

Thirdly, I hate it because, against all reason, it makes me worry for myself.

I know my boyfriend loves me the way I am. He tells me all the time, reassuring me when I have attacks of low self-esteem. But part of me can’t help thinking he’ll change his mind, and stories like this just make it worse.

Fuck this. Why should we live up to this impossible standard? Why shoud the women in these stories, and others like them, live in constant fear of their husbands’ rejection? Why should I be made to mistrust my boyfriend who loves me and would never hurt me?

I wish I could answer these questions.

 

 

 

 

 

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